Super Glue and Why It's Not Allowed In My House

So to some of my friends, this is their favorite Boy Wonder (BW) story. This is the ONE universal story that I have been told time and time again to start a blog over.  So without further ado....
    Back in late 2008, Traveling Dad got a job in sunny South Florida. It was almost BW's 2nd birthday but we pressed on.  We were there for 4 weeks.  We found a place we liked.  Signed a lease, moved in, had a birthday party, then BW and I headed back to Texas to finish packing and cleaning and saying goodbye.
    About 6 weeks later, we were back in Florida, dogs and grandparents in tow. We unpacked the truck and started the job of settling in. What they don't tell you about South Florida is even November is hot.  You know how lots of places are at least chilly in November?  Changing leaves and all that?  Not here.  Here, it is hot with rain.  Rain showers every day just about.  It's a Florida thing. Well, anywho, Mom and Dad had gone back to Texas, Traveling Dad was at work.  Just BW, the dogs and I remained at the house this particular warm day.
    Imagine, if you will, a cute 2 yr old boy.  Blonde hair, blue eyes, little smattering of freckles across the bridge of his nose. All American boy cuteness. Wearing a Tow Mater pull up and a Super Man shirt, complete...WITH CAPE! Here sat my little boy content on being somewhat still while he and Momma ran cars back and forth to each other.  I was laying down on the nice, cool tile floor.  BW was about 5 feet away from me.  His little foot dancing as he "zoomed" his cars to me one by one.  I laid my head down resting my check on the floor. BW took this time (as if in slow motion) to zoom a car to me.  My cheek caught it. The car was COVERED in Gorilla SuperGlue.  Not "a little dab will do ya" but it was SLATHERED on there. I didn't know.
    I go to get up feeling the stickiness on my cheek,  Eyes locked on BW as he started moving a little more wildly, akin to a caged animal awaiting dinner. I could not move. I was stuck. I WAS STUCK TO THE FREAKING FLOOR! BW took this time to leap forward and practice his new wrestling moves.  "WWDEATH! MOMMY!" and smacked down on my kidneys. Over and over again. So I grabbed my cell phone from my pocket and called (not traveling at the time) Traveling Dad at work.      He had me on speaker phone. Here is the conversation...more or less...
TD: Hello
Me: Hey, I need help. Your son super glued me <WWDEATH> to the floor. I'm stuck and I have to pee.
TD: WHAT!?!
Me: BW SUPER GLUED ME TO THE FLOOR AND I CANNOT GET UP! HELP ME!!
Background at office: Stifled laughter
TD: Say that again,
Me: I AM STUCK TO THE FREAKING FL <WWDEATH> OOR AND I CAN'T GET UP! I HAVE TO PEE AND THESE ELBOWS TO THE KIDNEYS TO THE KIDNEYS DON'T HELP!!
Background at office: Not even stifled any more.
TD: I can't leave right now. Hope you find something out. Nail polish remover works. Love you! <CLICK> Not before starting to laugh
Me: HELLO? HELLO?? TD? TD? HELLO!?!?
    Let me paint you a picture for a moment. I was a large woman. A double meat, double cheese, all the sides and fillin's, hold the tomatoes, thanks kindly lady. I started out on my right side. So it was my right cheek that got stuck. Somehow, somewhere along the way, I got flatened out onto my stomach. Giving BW full exposure to his wrestling playing field of choice.
    So I started thinking.  I know, I know.  Scary thing there.  So I was thinking...when there's something weird and it won't look good, who you going to call? After a quick search for ghostbusters, I dial 911.
911: 911, Police, Fire or Ambulance?
Me: I'm not too sure
911: ...
Me: WWDEATH, Mommy!
911: Is this a death threat?
Me: No! No! Nothing like that! That's my son.
911: Is he homicidal, ma'am?
Me: He's 2 so...who knows
911: So why did you call, Ma'am?
Me: My son super glued me to the floor.
911: So, he IS homicidal.
Me: ...
911: So, what's the issue?
Me: My son super glued me to the floor
911: Oh! Easy fix. Get some nail polis-
Me: If you remover...
911: Oh yeah, you're stuck! Hold please.
She places me on hold and starts talking to someone else.  I'm not really on hold though as I can still hear what she is saying. She finally gets back to me.
911: OK, Ma'am, I'm sending out a fire truck to help you. When they get there you will need to go let them....OH that's right you're stuck!
Me: Thanks for reminding me.
911: Well, They'll get in.  Don't worry.
Me: WWDEATH. OK Thanks
911: Good luck <CLICK>
Me: <click>
    So, turns out seeing a fire truck and police car was enough for BW to learn how to open the front door.  It's a modern day miracle my friends! So here came these firemen and two cops into my house all giving BW things and high fiving him, telling him how great he was. What a wonderful helper he was. WTF. So they are spilling in the house yet all I see are boots. "Take pictures, boys. 'For training purposes only'"
    FINALLY, using Acetone and NOT nail polish remover (glaring at Traveling Dad and 911 Operator Twat here) I was unstuck to the floor.  After using the bathroom (in one of those "ahhhhh" pees), I started looking around.  One of the cops looked very familiar. I asked, "I'm sorry, do I know you?" He responded, "Yes, Ma'am. Two weeks ago I pulled you over when your son was throwing tampons out the car window." I so should have asked if I could borrow his gun for a moment.
    To this day, I still have no idea where that bottle of super glue is or how he opened it. Probably best that I don't.  I have a small scar on my cheek from this incident too.
    So as you clearly see, THIS is why no super glue is allowed in my house.